1. I do not like being frightened. I have a very healthy imagination and it can run away with me and I need someone to catch me (that like totally reminds me of the movie Dreamer... sorry- side tracked) to calm me down and turn on the light and show me the normal non threatening TV that is not a serial killer crouching in the dark. It is ok to be frightened in a movie when you aren't by yourself, and it’s ok to be frightened when you are with someone you'd trust with your life- like your dad.
2. What scares me? hm... spiders sometimes, but not as bad as Ron :P I get really creeped out when I’m the last person awake at night. I don’t want to turn off the light- as soon as I do all the furniture turns into scary stuff. To me all the tragedies that are happening every where are horrific. like seriously. really really hard to grapple/ come to terms with. And I’m WAY more scared about subtle possibilities than actual blood and gore.
3. A good definition for madness is when someone is no longer acting rationally. They may be able to think rationally, but that is not what is dictating their actions. Also, when someone may act relatively normally but things they say are universally nonsensical, I would have to claim that they were mad as well.
4. Anger is more than capable of driving people to madness. So is war. Politics. People go insane when they are in an extreme state that they can no longer control or they no longer have the will to control. It’s a lot like cells in hypertonic or hypotonic solutions. hyper: so much is going on inside their head that they can no longer control their actions. hypo: so much is going on outside of them, they can no longer control their environment and they withdraw inside themselves and ignore the world.
Showing posts with label short stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label short stories. Show all posts
10.15.2007
Red Roses for her
I creak out of the car and get the flowers out of the back seat. The cold makes me move like an old man, but only little kids call me old. I shudder up the path, past other people's memories. There must be miles of stories behind each person here, but only a few people know each one. Finally I arrive at my memory. I lay down my blood red roses, and let the memories flood.
It’s my fault she’s dead. She was perfect. I don’t just mean beautiful, and I don’t mean she was faultless, but she was perfect. I held her and loved her- and left her. I didn’t realize by moving on I was leaving happiness behind. We Americans always think there’s something better, or newer or more exciting around the corner. Well this time I was wrong- so wrong. I thought it would be as easy for her to let go as it was for me. I’ve never made a bigger mistake.
She loved me more than life itself, I guess. There are a lot of things she taught me, a lot of things I never knew. I never knew love could destroy. I never knew I loved her until it was too late. I never knew regret until that day. And now I know I will never know light.
I’ve been bringing her roses every year on her birthday since I first met her, always a dozen red ones. The only year I ever missed was the year she died; the year I failed in life, the year my heart stopped all functions besides beating. I wish it had stopped that too. But it didn’t- I’m still here. I still have to remember.
We got married right out of college. We both thought we’d be happy forever, but I couldn’t get a job. She worked while I stayed home, looking in the classifieds for job offers. I was either under or way over qualified for everything. Her parents always had thought I was good for nothing. It turns out they were right, although I don’t think knowing they were right makes them feel any better.
We never had kids; I didn’t want any. I don’t even know if she did or not. They could have comforted her, or persuaded me to stay. But I was slowly sinking into the depths of depression and I don’t think they would have been able to stop me. She was always cheerful, always positive. She was the sun to me, but I tired of light. I wanted to be in utter darkness. So I left. I didn’t know that without someone to shine for, the sun would die.
And that’s how it happened. The sun just stopped. The world froze in its orbit. Everything is now cold and lifeless. The only color left is red, blood red. The roses.
It’s my fault she’s dead. She was perfect. I don’t just mean beautiful, and I don’t mean she was faultless, but she was perfect. I held her and loved her- and left her. I didn’t realize by moving on I was leaving happiness behind. We Americans always think there’s something better, or newer or more exciting around the corner. Well this time I was wrong- so wrong. I thought it would be as easy for her to let go as it was for me. I’ve never made a bigger mistake.
She loved me more than life itself, I guess. There are a lot of things she taught me, a lot of things I never knew. I never knew love could destroy. I never knew I loved her until it was too late. I never knew regret until that day. And now I know I will never know light.
I’ve been bringing her roses every year on her birthday since I first met her, always a dozen red ones. The only year I ever missed was the year she died; the year I failed in life, the year my heart stopped all functions besides beating. I wish it had stopped that too. But it didn’t- I’m still here. I still have to remember.
We got married right out of college. We both thought we’d be happy forever, but I couldn’t get a job. She worked while I stayed home, looking in the classifieds for job offers. I was either under or way over qualified for everything. Her parents always had thought I was good for nothing. It turns out they were right, although I don’t think knowing they were right makes them feel any better.
We never had kids; I didn’t want any. I don’t even know if she did or not. They could have comforted her, or persuaded me to stay. But I was slowly sinking into the depths of depression and I don’t think they would have been able to stop me. She was always cheerful, always positive. She was the sun to me, but I tired of light. I wanted to be in utter darkness. So I left. I didn’t know that without someone to shine for, the sun would die.
And that’s how it happened. The sun just stopped. The world froze in its orbit. Everything is now cold and lifeless. The only color left is red, blood red. The roses.
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